On Sunday night, George drove to Chinatown to pick up Lin Yifei back to school.
He opened the car door and saw Chris sitting in the back seat depressed. Lin Yifei vaguely felt that something had happened.
“Hey, Chris! Your face looks really smelly.” Lin Yifei smiled and moved to his side.
Chris looked up at the closed door of Chen Lin Ji through the window. He frowned.
“Ah, some guests said that they ate cockroaches in our food. The restaurant has been checked by the relevant department these days and is temporarily closed.” Lin Yifei shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t worry, it’ll be over in a few days.”
Chris nodded and George drove off.
“In the past, when business was good, my mother didn’t have a chance to rest. She talked about how hard she worked all day long. Now she can finally rest for a few days.”
Lin Yifei sighed. Chris held his hand and played with his fingers. He was silent all the way.
Although it was usually Lin Yifei who talked and Chris who listened, at this moment, Lin Yifei could feel that the atmosphere was a little strange.
After entering through the door of their dorm, Lin Yifei put down his bag while Chris sat on the bed watching him tidying up his things.
Lin Yifei was a little uncomfortable at his gaze. Putting down his things, he sat beside the bed and stared at Chris in the eye. “What’s wrong with you?”
Chris looked at Lin Yifei with an expression that Lin Yifei hadn’t seen except on the day when he said goodbye to him in New York.
Chris left his bed and walked slowly over. He sat astride Lin Yifei’s bed with one leg. He stretched out his hand and dragged him across with the back of his neck. As soon as Lin Yifei tried to speak, he was kissed. Chris showed his wild demand, overwhelming Lin Yifei on the bed. Lin Yifei tried to get up. Chris sat directly on his body with his palms holding Lin Yifei’s face. Despair loomed amidst his maddened kiss.
Fear flooded Lin Yifei’s mind. The illusion of being killed scared him.
He didn’t dare to resist, for fear that a slight refusal would offend Chris. Chris’s kiss gradually lost control. His palm lifted Lin Yifei’s T-shirt and stroked it hard enough to crush Lin Yifei’s bones. When his palm reached through the gap of his pants, Lin Yifei knew that he couldn’t bear it any longer. He lifted a knee to kick Chris’s abdomen. The other party had expected it and pressed down his knee. Chris’s knee wedged between Lin Yifei’s legs, pushing up one of his legs.
“What the f*** are you doing!” Lin Yifei couldn’t help swearing since he couldn’t go too far to avoid Chris.
Chris gripped Lin Yifei’s hands and pressed them against his pillow.
All actions between the two people suddenly paused.
Chris’s eyes were so cold but there was heartache in them.
“Tell me, what’s going on?” Lin Yifei knew that something must have happened, otherwise Chris wouldn’t have been so abnormal.
“Why…Why does someone always want to separate us?” Chris asked softly.
Lin Yifei was motionless for a long time before he responded, “What’s going on?”
Chris held Lin Yifei in his arms but didn’t speak.
“Let me guess, is it because someone in your family is opposing us?” Lin Yifei stretched out his arm to hug Chris and stroked his back.
With Chris’s silence, Lin Yifei knew that he was right.
“That person can’t be Mr. Osborne. To make you so upset, that person’s status must surpass your father in the Osbornes.” Lin Yifei frowned. His heart ached. “What are they threatening you with?”
“You.” Chris covered Lin Yifei’s ear.
“…Me?” Lin Yifei paused. “How did that man threaten you with me?”
“Let Chen Lin Ji collapse, let you not being able to attend school, sending you back to China…and…let you unable to hold a sabre for a lifetime…” Chris’s tone was calm, but Lin Yifei knew that Chris was really afraid underneath this calm. He was afraid that all this would come true and he was truly powerless to resist.
“So…what should we do?” Lin Yifei asked softly.
“I don’t want to be separated from you.” Chris’s voice trembled, sounding like he’s about to cry. Since Mrs. Osborne died, Lin Yifei had never seen such expression on Chris’s face.
“If we don’t separate now, my parents will have to bear this for me.” Lin Yifei swallowed saliva. He was no longer a child. At this moment, he realized that he liked Chris too. But he had already seen the huge and complicated family behind Chris. There’re some things that would come sooner or later. Lin Yifei had been preparing for this for a long time.
After a while, Lin Yifei finally spoke with difficulty, “So, let’s separate.”
Chris propped up his upper body and stared at Lin Yifei. He had the same expression that Lin Yifei saw three years ago when he advised Chris to go to New York with Mr. Osborne.
“Yifei, how can you be so calm every time we separate? It seems that you’re never afraid of our separation. I have never occupied an irreplaceable position in your heart, have I?”
Chris asked him. His tears slipped from his eyes and fell on Lin Yifei’s face, burning him.
“Do you want me to resist all this?” Lin Yifei closed his eyes and gave a wry smile.
In his heart, he was an adult. He knew very well how indifferent the world was. They couldn’t oppose the world, so they could only wait for opportunities.
“Why can’t we resist?” Chris fiercely asked.
“Because you know as well as me what the outcome of our resistance will be.” Lin Yifei reached out and wiped the tears from Chris’s eyes. “That’s why what we want isn’t resistance, but victory.”
“Become strong, Chris. If someone can threaten you, knock them down. If someone is stronger than you, then surpass them. If anyone stands in your way, destroy them.” Lin Yifei’s eyebrows trembled. Although he had been trying to stay calm, his mood eventually slipped out of control, “Chris, some people say that poverty, illness and love are the three things that one can’t hide. If you can still retain your love for me, what else can stop you?”
Chris held Lin Yifei’s hand and remained silent.
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“What you’re afraid of isn’t separation. Chris, aren’t we splitting up? Tell me, what are you really afraid of?”
“…I have never been perfect. And your world is so wide. You will meet people who’re 10,000 times better than me. You’ll be attracted them and slowly forget the feeling of being around me.”
Lin Yifei smiled and gently shook his head.
“Of course, you aren’t perfect. You’re quiet and always force me to help you with your pistol. There are people who’re 10,000 times better than you in this world. If you’re afraid that I will be attracted to them, then become more powerful and dazzling, so that I can only look at you. I only want to look at you.”
This week, the two of them attended school together. After participating in fencing activities, they went back to the dormitory together. Chris always kissed Lin Yifei as if there was not enough time left. When lying in bed at night, they huddled close to each other on the narrow single bed. Chris’s arms around him were so strong that Lin Yifei sometimes felt crushed during his sleep.
On Thursday, Katherine and Ivey hurried to their dorm.
Katherine looked angry and asked Chris why he wanted to transfer to another school without telling them. At some point she began to cry. Ivey panicked and comforted her.
Chris and Lin Yifei sat there side by side until Katherine stopped crying.
“Please take good care of Yifei when I’m not with him.” Chris spoke up.
“Aha…” Katherine smiled sarcastically, “You can actually say ‘Please’ to let other help you take care of Lin? Before, when you and Lin were glued together, you look like you want to kill anyone who gets close to Lin with your eyes. Now? You want someone else to take care of him?”
“Come on, Katherine. There’s no need to do this. I can take good care of myself.” Lin Yifei smiled. His lips showed the bitterness that only a fool couldn’t see.
“Please, Katherine. In the morning, please urge him to get up and do morning exercises. Make sure he drinks milk, otherwise he will cramp during the competition because he lacks calcium. Once he plays online games, he won’t remember the time. He must be reminded to go to bed on time so that he’ll have plenty of energy the next day…”
“Don’t give me your last words.” Katherine turned away. She frowned for a long time before saying, “Do you think I’m a fool? I can see how much you like each other. What the hell is going on? Is it because the Osbornes can’t tolerate the two of you?”
“It’s not the Osbornes’ intolerance, it’s my weakness.” Chris’s throat quivered. Katherine couldn’t bear to say anything more after seeing such subtle movements.
“Don’t think that Lin will foolishly wait for you.” Katherine got up and pulled Ivey to leave. She knew that she should leave more private time for them. “Do you know how outstanding, considerate and gentle he is? Or how many girls like him? There are also a lot of Rex Gray!”
She went away, sniffling as she walked, which looked a little funny. However, only friends like Katherine would take Lin Yifei’s side regardless of the mainstream view.
The arrival of Friday was like the end of the world.
George came to pick Chris up.
Lin Yifei sat at the edge of the bed and watched him pull up his suitcase. Chris walked to the door and stopped with his back to Lin Yifei.
“Yifei…‘Life and death as one, Zi Cheng said. Hold your hand and grow old with you’.” Chris spoke softly in Chinese. His Chinese sounded very standard, but it had a hint of coldness and hoarseness that showed the magnetism of a mature man.
“You once said that promises are only made by people who lack confidence.” Lin Yifei endured hard to prevent his tears from falling.
“This isn’t a promise. It’s the only ending for me and you.” Chris said. He then pulled his suitcase and walked out the door.
The sound of the door closing left behind determination and heartache.
After the sound of the rolling suitcase disappeared at the end of the corridor, Lin Yifei’s tears streamed down.
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